I often struggle with the idea of why this happened to me when my sickness has no known explanation. When I ponder the whys and the hows, it creates anger and frustration rather than anything constructive or useful. I have accepted that this is no one's doing and I'm now finding purpose in who I have become. This transformation continues to challenge my faith in ways I'm still trying to understand.
It is a common belief that if you are faithful to God that you will be blessed with good things and no harm will come to you. However, the Old Testament is a book largely about people who prove their faith despite suffering.
Psalm 73 v26-28: "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my potion forever,...I have made the Lord God my refuge."
Most of the Disciples lived hard lives with pain and suffering. The Apostle Paul, one of the most faithful to Christ was arrested, brutally beaten, prosecuted, and put to death by the Romans. If those closest to Jesus suffered, what excludes me from my suffering? The bible does not teach that those faithful to God will live a life of bliss. Instead it teaches that persistent faith in the face of suffering will comfort, provide hope and strength.
It is another common belief that everything happens for a reason. This idea was hard for me to grasp because I was comforted in the fact that God wrote this into my life and must have a plan for me. However, as Adam Hamilton examines in the book "Why", this would mean that God willed it, and actually caused it to happen. He uses examples of 21,000 people dying of hunger each day, women being raped and babies being taken away from their parents. I don't believe it was God's will for these things to happen. However, in a world where tragedy and suffering occur, God creates purpose in these situations. Through our hardships we develop character, compassion and a deeper understanding for the world we live in. "... all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
Throughout my journey I have come to realize a deeper understanding of myself, the world we live in, and my relationship with God. God resides in the compassion of a friend, the tenderness of a caregiver and the generosity of a community. Though my body may appear weak, this is the strongest I have ever felt.
"For when I am weak, I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10)
Wow! Beautifully said! You don't know me (I know your mom and have a son your age) but I have followed you on your journey. I really look forward to your blog postings. You are amazing Grace! Peace and love to you. Jennifer Lasley
ReplyDeleteThis brings tears to my eyes. You have wisdom far beyond your years, Gracie. I am constantly awed by you and your strength.
ReplyDeleteGracie,
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely. God only knows the bigger plan he has for your life and it isn't always revealed to us in our own desired timing, but most assuredly he has a specific design for you. I just know he is going to use you in great ways to touch the lives of people around you :)
I know your sister Emily from when we played soccer back in 3rd grade together on the Smashing Pumpkins, this is amazing what you have learned as a result of your condition and you make me want to strive to be closer to God and now before that ever I know that God has a plan for everyone and everything, you are an amazing human being :)
ReplyDeleteLove,
Anna Reed (sophomore at San Marcos)
beautifully written, Gracie. Your words provide me comfort. you have such an innate sense of understanding human nature. I am so grateful to be your friend. ❤️ Peggy
ReplyDeletepS and your artwork is stunningly beautiful. Your art should be hanging in a museum.
Hi Gracie! I met you years ago shortly after your family moved to Santa Barbara. You invited my daughter Gwennie to your birthday party and although you both went on to different schools, I always remembered your kindness.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I've followed a spiritual path, I don't follow a particular faith. I don't think things happen for a reason; it's how we respond to adversity that defines is. I believe each person's life mission is to find a life mission (if you'll forgive the redundancy). For me, I struggled with addiction and alcoholism as a teenager. I got sober shortly after my 16th birthday and have been clean for over three decades. My life mission has been to share that experience of recovery and pay it forward.
I saw the video you made about a year ago, and I continue to be inspired by your resilience. You are a beautiful writer (and artist!) and I look forward to reading about your journey.
All the best,
Brea
Hi Gracie, I'm a teacher at SBHS and ran on the "Hall Passers" last year. You are a beautiful writer and your explanation of the Old Testament and suffering is summed up so well. What stood out to me the most in your latest blog post is your last line, "Though my body may appear weak, this is the strongest I have ever felt" This sentence makes me realize that strength and faith are interchangeable words when you speak of God. Your painting is beautiful! Are you selling note cards with your art?
ReplyDeleteStrong indeed!! You write about human connection beautifully. Your mission seems clear to me, you are connecting to us and showing us the way! Your honesty is a beacon; keep going, we're coming along on your ride! :)
ReplyDeleteGracie, you write extraordinarily well and beautifully, and definitely Honor Thy Lord." I will probably be putting my foot in my mouth again and have to remove my comments but I think that there may be God's Will behind having such senseless, horrible suffering inflicted upon you as the daughter of 2 Physical Therapists. They have become experts in their loving treatment of you and can treat others similarly afflicted whether by hands-on treatment, or possibly creating a training center or authoring a book about what to do. I saw a parallel case, only the affliction was blindness when Reg Golledge, Chairman of the Geography Dept at UCSB, suddenly went blind when on vacation. On one hand he did everything he could to enable himself, and used assistive devices (even winning an award as Best Disabled Person"), but even more, he inspired a faculty friend to invent a back pack GPS system to pioneer navigation of the blind around campus [now the size of a cell phone, I think]. "How people navigate in the world" had been his academic specialization long before he went blind so he was uniquely qualified to develop the system. While his blindness was a terrible problem for him, it was through him that subsequent blind people have learned to navigate the environment. From a small acorn a large beautiful oak tree has grown.
ReplyDeleteGracie, you have strengthened my faith. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Your eloquence really touches me.
ReplyDeleteGracie, you are giving so much to so many with your insight and perspective. I am so moved by your words and your journey and so grateful to go along on this ride with you and see the scenery from your wise eyes. Thank you! God bless you!
ReplyDelete7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all- surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. ..16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2Cor 4:7-11, 16-18
ReplyDeleteGracie, you are already in a far better place spiritually than most ambulatory people many years your senior. You are clearly His child. May God continue to bless your heart.
A shift in our perception of ourselves, is wrought with unanswered questions. Instead of asking "Why me?" There is always "why not me?" As no one is exempt from the unknown. There is no answer to "Why me?" Because the challenge is so much bigger than we are prepared to accept. God plays a part in All, and you are wise to believe that. How we choose to play out our challenges defines us, the challenge does not. Many Blessings Dear One. Always.
ReplyDelete